Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize
