the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
