i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
