Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
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