so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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