Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
someone get that fucking seahorse.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
