how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
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