i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
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