She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Randomize
