what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Randomize