i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
We had sex on a dog bed..
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
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