I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
Randomize
