How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
