mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
