Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
