he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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