Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Randomize
