for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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