I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
Randomize