jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
