I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
