Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
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