I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Randomize
