I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Randomize
