Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
