i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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