I look better un-naked...
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
