me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Randomize