scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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