Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize