if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
