So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
