dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
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