Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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