If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
Come see our sink grown plant.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
Randomize
