thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
