Kareoke will never be a sober sport
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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