He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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