Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Randomize
