I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
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