On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Randomize
