Me too!
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
