hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
