apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
My underwear smells like fireworks.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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