What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
soo... how was my night?
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
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