You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
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