I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
