There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
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