You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Randomize
