new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize