she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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