Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
Randomize
