You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
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