i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
40s are totally the cure
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Randomize
