god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Randomize
