She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
