Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
