Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
my sisters under your porch take her home
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
