would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Randomize
