First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
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