are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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